almost a year

hello it's almost a year .....damn 30 coming up. but i decide to age with grace and sweaty hands. how is everybody? my little brother is coming out with a book he has been trying to write for some time now and it looks to be paying off updates will come later. two books i am reading are tender warrior by stu weber and the four seasons of marriage by capman. me and gina go to a couple connection at the church were she works. we are leading the first two chapters of the four seasons book hen someone else will take the next chapters and so forth. fatherhood-----wow jaliel has stared the two stage early about 6 months early. it is a lot of fun watching him during the 18 months that we have had him 17 really. anyway he has been teaching me a great deal of humility and patience which i did not have before. it's amazing what God uses to teach those who are willing to learn. my day stared when my son showed up one night. up side baby is home down side what the hell do i do now! but i managed along side the most wonderful woman in the world. and here we are. well thats all for now .

Jaliel B-day

Hello son,

Happy B-day Jaliel. wow one year ago you came into our home. i was nervous. you came me and yoyr mom were so excited. You stayed with a foster parent for one month before we got you. That was the longest month in my life. I am so happy that you are in our lives. when you came home i was able to hold you in my hand now a year later it take s both are to hold you. You have learned so much sense then. learned how to crall, say mike in sgin languge, almost feed yourselg. so big is one of the saying that you caught very qukily. we would lift our hands up and say " so big" and you would lift your hands and smile. waqtchin you simle is one of the best feeling in the world. God has made so big chnges sens you've come and i am a better person because of it. I thank God for you and pray for you always. I love you my son.

Dad

Friends

Friends. There is a group of people who have been there for me this past few years and because of them I have been able to explore different sides of me personality. I talked about a mask and if I offend anyone by that I ask for forgiveness. That blog was not to hurt anyone but to express feelings. This small group and a few outsiders have given me a chance to find out about true friendship which uses pain to keep together. Pain is been the glue that holds me with these people. Pain and the ability to laugh. Again thank you for everything the you have brought to table.

love Thomas

Damn I'm ugly

weird God uses different things to show me what is happening in His world. I learning just how ugly I am. First the movie crash I find out how racist I am. Now I finding out what kind of person I am. Due to the lack of sleep I don't like me any more. I am reaching new levels of anger. New levels of hate. Self. When does this guy die? uggggg go away. Dad sucks. Husband sucks. Leadership is not happening. Note to self: die you f##king pig. Me is gross. Keep trying.

father/son

I had a talk with my son[who is 4 months old] and we were talking about love and acceptance. He made this statement " dad I will do want ever you want , just please love and accept me." with tears in my eyes I told him " son I love and accept you matter what. Your are welcomed at my table. Eat from my fridge, borrow my car, but please remember this -no matter what happens your are my son and I am your dad-. With a smile we held each other. [hold those who you love]

apolage

this blog if for a few diffent people. first my wife these past years i have not lived up to my end of the marriage bargin. i have not be there for her. to have to hold, sickness and heatlth, dearth to us part. {i know i missing something} i said some really stupid things. God has given me some amazing blessing Gina is one of those. Without my wife i dont know where i would be right now. also my friends thank you so much for being there for us. i am learning what real freinds are. i have a long way to go and brecause of the people God has put in my life i will get to were i a going.

love thomas

these are my boys

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-KMbK8k8lc6kLuWcKhNJmD31FbMIxeAE-;_ylt=AqLjVVj4tWMl4UAN4Iie5Hi0AOJ3?cq=1


earthworm jim
the tick
darkwing duck
freakazoid

Dad's cry too

I became a dad. Weird. I look at my son and cry. I have been a dad for 3 weeks. Crying at this time is kinda lame I know. Crossing lines I never really thought about. More later on that. Already things have changed. The basic sleeping. I have been tolded that I don't know what I am getting into. I know that. I know I don't have any idea what I am doing. I know the is more than I have. I know, I know, I know,. My life changed. I choose this road not out of naive, or whim but out of love for my son. I will have to be more than I am. More than I have , more than I can give. I look at my son and cry. Hope to hear him say someday "my daddy was my best friend."