Friday, September 01, 2006

Mask

I wear a mask. Every time I take it off my friends leave me. Loneliness. It comes down to being lonely or lies. Take the mask off nobody wants to be around me. Leave the mask on and I have to lie to keep people around. I am so desperate for closeness that I have to choose. Mask on or off. Lie or real. Mask getting heavy, lies getting to empty. Crying. Do I let you see me or maybe find a lighter mask. Have to kill the closeness. Drugs cost to much, sex to hallow, truth to painful. Now what? Tears fill my eyes. Happiness not real. Joy everlasting where? No comfort. Why? Pain hurts inside. Hold me but don't look at me. Feel me but don't touch. See but don't look. Hear but don't listen. Death. Time coming soon.

3 Comments:

Blogger Liz said...

I vote for truth mixed with alot of faith. There's no guarantee that all your friends will be good about sticking it out. But God sticks it out with you and he sometimes will bring some to you that will understand and know how to be there for you and be as accepting of the real you as God is.

12:03 AM  
Anonymous Lani said...

mask is easier but numbness closes in. truth is painful sometimes. Pain lets me know I'm alive. Death is only a new begininng.

10:08 PM  
Anonymous zac said...

I agree with Liz

11:23 AM  

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