Friends

Friends. There is a group of people who have been there for me this past few years and because of them I have been able to explore different sides of me personality. I talked about a mask and if I offend anyone by that I ask for forgiveness. That blog was not to hurt anyone but to express feelings. This small group and a few outsiders have given me a chance to find out about true friendship which uses pain to keep together. Pain is been the glue that holds me with these people. Pain and the ability to laugh. Again thank you for everything the you have brought to table.

love Thomas

Damn I'm ugly

weird God uses different things to show me what is happening in His world. I learning just how ugly I am. First the movie crash I find out how racist I am. Now I finding out what kind of person I am. Due to the lack of sleep I don't like me any more. I am reaching new levels of anger. New levels of hate. Self. When does this guy die? uggggg go away. Dad sucks. Husband sucks. Leadership is not happening. Note to self: die you f##king pig. Me is gross. Keep trying.

father/son

I had a talk with my son[who is 4 months old] and we were talking about love and acceptance. He made this statement " dad I will do want ever you want , just please love and accept me." with tears in my eyes I told him " son I love and accept you matter what. Your are welcomed at my table. Eat from my fridge, borrow my car, but please remember this -no matter what happens your are my son and I am your dad-. With a smile we held each other. [hold those who you love]

apolage

this blog if for a few diffent people. first my wife these past years i have not lived up to my end of the marriage bargin. i have not be there for her. to have to hold, sickness and heatlth, dearth to us part. {i know i missing something} i said some really stupid things. God has given me some amazing blessing Gina is one of those. Without my wife i dont know where i would be right now. also my friends thank you so much for being there for us. i am learning what real freinds are. i have a long way to go and brecause of the people God has put in my life i will get to were i a going.

love thomas

these are my boys

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